The List: Six

To catch up:

THE LIST: CHAPTER INDEX

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5

Chapter Six:  The Sleepover

Nora seemed a bit taken aback when I brought Ame home earlier.  I was not expecting that from her.  Of course, she didn't show these emotions on the surface; I just felt that emitting from her.  I can be a sentient person sometimes.

Nora tells me all the time I should always embrace my sentient side.  So many have innate abilities, and tend to ignore them when they conform to society's standards--or so that's what she's always told me before.  I think the reason Nora was shocked to see Ame at all was because we--Ame and I--haven't been exactly on speaking terms for a few months.  I figure I can explain my day to Nora sometime tomorrow when we're alone or something.

I don't want to make my cousin feel bad.  She does mean well in her own way.  I just wanted to stop seeing things her way, and do things my way for once.  Sometimes, in order for people to change and grow, they need to separate themselves from others until they find out just what they want out of life; that was what I had done.

I know Ame feels hurt by what I've done, but I also know how forgiving she can be.  I know eventually, she'll come around and--hopefully--understand where I'm coming from.  I bring my thoughts back to the present, and spit out the toothpaste that washed my mouth.  I rinse the toothbrush off and hang it up.

I told Ame I needed a moment after we watched Cast Away for the millionth time.  I don't know why we're watching this movie.  I'd rather be watching some kind of a rom-com right about now.  I've been in a fragile state of mind lately, but I don't want to ruin the fun Ame and I are having.

We've watched Cast Away so much, we start creating our own dialog on what the characters are saying.  It was pretty funny, but I just needed a moment to myself, and so I excused myself to get ready for bed.  There still is school in the morning, so we can't stay up too much longer.

I walk out of the bathroom, and hear my cousin saying something.

"And even in death
"I will stay on the right path
"The best I could be"

I recognize what she's saying.  That's a haiku I wrote in my journal.  I open the door to find her with my journal in her hands.  She looks up at me, pretends nothing is wrong about this situation at all, and smiles.

"I didn't know you kept a secret diary," she says.

I don't know what to say to her.  The last time, she found out I was making a list of things I'd like to accomplish in my life--which, when she found out, she freaked out--and that was one of the reasons why we hadn't talked in a long time.

"Uh, sorry," she continues to speak.  "I stumbled upon it under the pillow.  Something felt uncomfortable when I laid my head down."

I still say nothing.  I am surprised she hasn't tried to argue with me like the last time.  I look down to the ground.  I just want to enjoy my senior year; I don't want any trouble.

"Again, I'm sorry," I look back at her.  "I shouldn't have read your secret diary without your permission.  Though I must tell you," she pauses, closes the book, and hands it to me.  "You're a fantastic writer.  I didn't know you could write haiku's and poetry like that."

I give a curt laugh.  "Neither did I," I find myself say.  I look back at her.  "For the record it's a journal, and if it was so secretive, I would have found a better hiding place for it.  I keep it under the pillow to write down my weird dreams."

"Oh," she responds as if a light bulb just went on in her head or something.  "That explains those cryptic entries."

"Yeah," I give a little smile as I head over to my bed to put my journal back under the pillow.

"Why do you write down your dreams?"

"My shrink told me to," I begin.  "She told me to write them down, because it's a way of the subconscious telling you something."

"Is that why you made that list?"

"No," I yawn as I crawl into bed.  "You know why."  I lay down and turn off the lamp light.

I hear her sigh as she crawls into the other side of my king-sized bed.  "I know."

She starts mumbling something, but I'm not really listening as my dreams have now taken full effect.  I'm sure whatever it is, we can chat more in the morning after my jog.

*******